Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Feeling lonley and discouraged.

Have you ever had the feeling that your not welcome? Or like no one wants you around, unless you are helping them? That's how I'm feeling tonight.

It seems like I do everything wrong, or I just can't get ahead. But if I do someone else a favor, things are cool for about 5 minuets, then its back to me being a screw up.

I'm not trying to wine, or wallow in self pitty. But it seems pretty messed up that, when I'm not needed people point out all my faults, then expect me to smile when they want me to do them a favor.

Maybe I'm not the best at cleaning, maybe I forget to wipe down the sink, or sweep everyday, but does that make me a bad guest? Does it make it ok to degrade me, and make me feel like crap? I don't know anymore.... maybe I'm better off somewhere else.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Shopping voyage

So today is the first day I've really been able to shop. I checked out some of the super cool shops on 4th ave.
I bought a dress at How Sweet it Was vintage shop. Its long velvet, and a brand I have been dying to check out. Pyramid collection! I've seen this dress on their website for $119 and I paid just over $30 I think that's a deal. :)
Pictures comming soon

I also stopped at the local Goodwill and bought a dress and a pair of killer red shoes. $10 for the dress pictured, and $5 for the shoes. Not a bad shopping day, I also stopped in a few other shops along my way, but I came home with what I wanted. :)



11/11/11

So I have to blog about today even if the only reason is that it is 11/11/11. Lol
So it was a kinda slow paced day for me, I woke up late, showered, and went to a kid's birthday party. It was fun even though my neice kept trying to escape, and I ate way too much, but it was a good time.
It was at Peter Piper's which is a local kids joint kinda like chuckie cheese. The pizza was good, and it wasn't overly anoying and loud like chuckie cheese can be.

After the party we headed home, and I had a quiet night babysitting my brother's kids. Thankfully the babies slept most of the night, they only woke up to eat, then went back to sleep. It was very late when their parents got back, but I got in 2 good movies so I can't say it was terrible. I watched Surrogets, and The Village. I liked both, since I really dig science fiction.

I really wish all days (and nights) could be this easy.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Rough days

I've had a few rough days living with my brother. Its not my ideal situation, but it seems to be getting a bit better. There are still issues, but no more screaming matches. It could just be the quiet before the storm, or it could be getting better. I'm not sure which but I'm hoping for better. I really do love my family, but sometimes its hard to make things work.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Day of the Dead Parade!

Ok so I attended the Day of the Dead parade here in Tucson. I must say it was epic! Literaly if the word "epic" is to ever be used, it should be used to describe this parade.
There were thousands of people, if not hundreds of thousands of people. And everyone was there for one event, one goal. To see and walk in the parade.

Thousands of people in face paint, people carring memorial signs, people taking pictures, it was an amazing feeling. It was like attending an open service to every religion you could think of. It was a positive vibe, a diffrent way to honor a person's death, or those you loved who are gone. I felt so connected, to this city, and to everyone around me.

I have never seen anything like it before, it was like the whole city came out to celebrate, remember, and to show support. I will for sure go again next year, and maybe I will even paint my face, and walk. It was truely a moving event, and if anyone visits during the parade I would suggest dropping whatever plans you have and going. Trust me you wont regret it.

P.S. I will be posting pictures later, as for right now I will be heading to bed.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Too tired to sleep.

I spent the day helping my sister in law with her and my brother's kids. Crying, wining, screaming... you know normal kid stuff.
Had to clean up and unpack as soon as I had free time. Started at 11pm, just finished at 2am. I'm dead tired, but at least I'm mostly unpacked, and have clothes to wear, and don't have to dig for stuff.
I'm getting used to living with my brother, his gf, and kids. Its not perfect, and I bite my tounge a lot, but it could be worse.....

Friday, November 4, 2011

Feeling the pressure

Ok I'm begining to weigh the pros, and cons of moving here...
Maybe I should have done this before I moved? Its not like I'm being treated like crap, I'm just starting to realize I miss the freedom of having my own place. I don't like following someone else's rules, or being in someone else's space. I like having my own space. Sharing a bathroom with kids, and having to take everything in and out every day, since they will get into stuff bites.

I like having me time, not being surrounded. And I love my family, but I'm not cut out to be dealing with kids, and babies all the time. Having people tell me the proper way to clean, or when to clean bugs the crap out of me.
Having to watch what I say, or what I leave out, or eat is driving me nutts. I know it could be worse, but damn I just want my quiet life, and my 2 bedroom apartment back....

Thursday, November 3, 2011

All souls day

So last night I went to an all souls day party at the reservation. It was very fun, interesting, and a bit strange. They feed the ghosts, visit and clean off graves, and have a big meal.
There is a day of the dead parade later on this week near my dad's shop, maybe I will go to that too.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A good day

So I had a pretty good day. I woke up early and took the pratice GED test, and passed with a pretty good score. I will probley take the real test next week.
After I tested I headed over to my dad's shop, since I hadn't seen him in a while. I had good time, we worked on a car he is fixing up. I may not be great with cars, but it was nice seeing what my dad does from day to day. We had a yummy dinner (curried goat), and hung out for a while.
I didn't realize how much I missed seeing my family till I moved out here.